Star Trek: The Next Generation- "Tapestry"

Q's follow up to his DS9 visit.

Just a few weeks after “Q-Less” aired, Q returned to The Next Generation for the next installment of…

The Rise and Fall of Q

The episode begins with Crusher receiving emergency patients, including Picard, Riker, and Worf, who are being beamed up after a surprise attack at a conference they were attending. Picard is unconscious with a huge burn in the center of his chest and gets carried by Worf to a bio bed.

Crusher attempts to revive him, but Picard’s artificial heart is fused.

We fade to white, and Picard is walking around. He sees what appears to be a shadowed angelic figure. Picard takes the figure’s offered hand only to discover that the figure is Q, who welcomes him to the afterlife.

Understandably asking WTF?, Picard scoffs at Q’s comment that he’s God. But Q states that Picard died just five minutes ago. To back up his claim, the spirit of Picard’s dad pops up and scolds his son for joining Starfleet against his wishes, especially since he’s now dead. Never mind that Picard saved humanity more than once by this point in the series. There’s just no pleasing some fathers!

Picard also hears random voices that Q says are the voices of those who have indirectly died because of the captain over the years. But Q says that the good news is that since Picard no longer requires the bathroom, they can now travel through eternity together.

Q points out the reason Picard is now dead and holds up his artificial heart, which Picard had previously told Wesley about in the second season episode “Samaritan Snare”. He says that Picard may have survived the blast that hit him had his heart been a real one. They witness a younger Picard fighting three Nausicaans until one of them sticks a knife in his back, which goes through his heart. Young Picard laughs at the sight before collapsing to the ground.

The present Picard explains to Q that he was reckless and arrogant at that time, which are traits Q wishes he still had. This arrogant streak led to him starting that fight and hence losing his heart. Picard confesses that things would be different now if he hadn’t started that fight.

Picard is surprised by a slap on the face by a woman who quickly walks out. He turns around to see that this little episode is being cheered on by his Academy BFFs Cortan “Corey” Zweller (Ned Vaughn) and Marta “Marty” Batanides (J.C. Brandy). They briefly joke with Picard, who went by the nickname “Johnny” during this time. After Corey and Marty leave, Picard briefly takes in his surroundings, including the cool Starfleet uniform Kirk and company wore in Star Treks II through VI.

Q pops up and says he’s given Picard a chance to change things so he won’t die that premature death. After assuring him that history won’t be altered by what Picard does or doesn’t do, Picard recognizes the setting as Starbase Earhart, where he, Corey, and Marty were awaiting their first postings. Q asks about the lady who slapped him, and Picard says it was one of the many ladies he bedded during this time, and the slap was her reaction when she learned that Picard had another date that same day.

Picard is now in a bar chatting it up with that same date. But the polite respect he now shows leads to her throwing a drink in his face and storming out, to Q’s amusement. Meanwhile, Corey is amazing a crowd with his skills at the billiards-like game of dom-jot. That’s when Nausicaans come in and challenge him to a game. Despite Picard’s warnings, Corey agrees to the challenge and subsequently loses.

In a huff, Corey goes back to his room with Picard and Marty. Corey insists that the Nausicaans had some kind of knick-knack that allowed them to win the game. He plans revenge by rigging the table so the device fails the next time. Picard tries to tell him that this is a bad idea. Corey walks out while Marty notes that Picard is acting differently than usual, saying that he would usually be the one to suggest the revenge idea.

Q walks in with flowers, amusingly saying they are for “John Luck Pickerd”. Marty leaves, prompting Q to note that she’s hot. Picard admits that he wishes he and Marty had been more than friends. But Q is also here to inform Picard that Corey has ignored his advice and is currently rigging the dom-jot table.

Going to the bar, Picard confronts Corey. He eventually says that he’ll rat Corey out to the bar’s owner if he goes through with it. Corey storms off. Back in his quarters, Picard pours his heart out to Marty, while she notes that she likes this new sense of responsibility in Picard. They end up spending the night together.

The next morning begins with a nightmare of sorts, as Picard awakens to find not Marty but Q next to him. Q gloats about what Picard has done so far before vanishing.

Picard meets with Marty in the bar, although she’s not in a happy mood, regretting their romantic evening. They’re joined by an equally unhappy Corey, and they toast to the assignments that await them.

That’s when the Nausicaans return and challenge them again. Picard ends up avoiding the fight and thus saving his real heart by shoving Corey to the ground. The Nausicaans leave laughing their asses off, while both Corey and Marty tell Picard to piss off and walk away.

Q congratulates Picard for avoiding the fight, and the captain is back in the present on the Enterprise. Only now, he’s not a captain. He’s wearing a blue uniform while Worf informs him that he’s a junior grade lieutenant, and Data talks about someone else being the captain. Picard goes to Sickbay, but instead of Crusher, he finds Q, who tells him that he did what he promised: returned Picard to the present as he knows it. All that’s changed is Picard himself, because Picard changed who he was in the past.

Picard goes to Ten Forward and sits with Riker and Troi, asking for their opinion of him as officer material. They both state that, while Picard dots his i’s and crosses his t’s, he’s never acted on the impulse to go above and beyond in order to get into the lucrative command field. In the plus column, he still outranks Harry Kim.

Picard angrily goes to Engineering to give a report to La Forge. In the turbolift, Picard asks Q if he’s amused that Picard is now leading a boring life. The doors open and Picard is back in the all-white setting with Q, who’s bitching about his ungratefulness.

Q points out that, by being less arrogant in his earlier years, Picard didn’t become the commanding figure we met in “Encounter at Farpoint”. As a result, Picard is now stuck with a career that’s almost as bad as being a regular on Andromeda. Of course, there are numerous reasons why TNG was an awesome series and Andromeda was anything but. One of those reasons was that Picard is more interesting and relatable than Sorbo’s Dylan Hunt. We get another example of this as Picard admits to Q that trying to change things wasn’t a smart move, and he asks Q to send him back in order to start the fight this time. Q reminds Picard that this will still result in his eventual death, but Picard doesn’t care. De Lancie does some great acting here; while his facial expression doesn’t change, he’s clearly impressed by Picard yet again.

Picard is back in the bar and this time starts that fight. He gets in a few good punches before that knife goes through his heart, causing him to laugh his ass off all the way back to Crusher’s Sickbay… where she tells him that he should pull through.

The episode ends with a recovered Picard in the observation lounge telling Riker about his experience. Riker notes that he’s never heard of someone having such a detailed near-death experience, and is surprised when Picard admits he’s thankful to Q for the new insight, because he’s always been less than pleased about things he did in his past. Q helped him realize that those stupid acts helped forge him into the person he is now.

“Tapestry” is a wonderful take on Frank Capra’s classic movie It’s a Wonderful Life. Picard isn’t depressed by his life, but rather thinks that if he removes one foolish act he performed in his youth, he won’t die a premature death years later. But Q helps him actually appreciate that act, and realize that in the end, it wasn’t so foolish after all.

“Deja Q” ended with Picard grudgingly admitting that Q was more than a pain in the ass. “Tapestry” ends with Picard openly thanking Q for helping him actually appreciate an event that he had previously viewed with embarrassment and even humiliation. As a result, this episode marks a new point in Q which wouldn’t have been effective had it aired prior to any of his previous appearances, including his pit stop at Deep Space Nine. Q’s relationship with Picard is especially changed, as he’s the only one of TNG’s regulars who Q interacts with here, although Picard keeps the other regulars in the know about what happens.

All this would certainly influence the dramatic direction of Q’s next appearance, which was, of course, the TNG finale “All Good Things…” I’ve already written a review of that episode and can’t think of much to say that I haven’t already said about that masterwork. This is why I’m jumping ahead to Q’s following appearance, which was the Voyager episode “Death Wish”, and this is sadly where the “fall” aspect of the Rise and Fall of Q begins.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine- "Q-Less"

This is a look at Q's only visit to DS9.

Just a few months after “True Q” aired came the launch of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. The series, unlike the other Trek series before or since, had a space station setting, rather than one on a starship. It also had appearances from a few characters first seen on The Next Generation, most notably Miles O’Brien as one of the regulars, and Worf, who became a regular in the show’s fourth season.

So, it was natural that DS9 would get its own installment of…

The Rise and Fall of Q

…which came in the first half of the first season.

The episode begins in the replimat where Bashir is attempting to romance a lady by bringing up an ordeal he faced while in medical school. O’Brien is sitting behind this lady, no doubt thinking what the hell is going to possess him to actually be BFFs with Bashir down the road. O’Brien rolls his eyes at Bashir’s gloating after the lady departs, and then the duo are summoned to one of the landing pads, where a runabout carrying Dax and an ensign has returned from the wormhole, but has lost power and is rapidly losing oxygen.

As O’Brien tries to open the bay door, Bashir’s tricorder reads a third person in the vessel. They get in and send the three passengers to the infirmary. O’Brien is surprised to discover that the third passenger is Vash, whom he remembers because he was still on the Enterprise when she visited in “Qpid”. As they head out, she tells him that a friend dropped her off in the Gamma Quadrant. The opening act ends with a reveal of that friend: Q.

After the title sequence, Bashir reveals to Vash that he’s astonished at her good health, considering she was in the Gamma Quadrant for the past two years. The show established Bashir as the “ladies’ man” of DS9’s ensemble at this point, which is why it’s not surprising that he starts flirting with her.

In Sisko’s office, Dax tells him that Vash didn’t reveal how she ended up in the Gamma Quadrant, although she didn’t use the wormhole to get there.

Vash, meanwhile, checks her belongings in with an officer who doesn’t look like he’s smiled a day in his life. He takes special note of the quartz item Vash has obtained during her travels. Sisko arrives and informs Vash that the Daystrom Institute is looking forward to hearing about her experiences. She notes the irony, since she was kicked out of the Institute years ago. But she does express interest in going back to Earth, which Sisko tells her he’ll make arrangements for.

Sisko then checks on O’Brien’s work on the runabout. O’Brien says he can’t tell how the ship lost its power, but it should be okay now. Sisko asks how well he knows Vash, and O’Brien says he only met her that one time, but he knows about her close relationship with Captain Picard. Sisko understandably says that Vash doesn’t seem like the type Picard would go for, and then the power briefly goes out. They head back to Ops, and after power is restored, Dax says that the conditions were similar to what happened on the runabout.

O’Brien takes Vash to her quarters and she asks him how Picard is. He says he was fine the last time he saw him, and she says she may say hi to him again. After O’Brien leaves, Q pops up, slightly annoyed that Vash is still interested in Picard. Vash is equally annoyed, because Q has turned out to be just as insufferable as Picard said he was.

But Q proceeds to annoy her, and then Quark knocks on her door. Q tells him to piss off by making him disappear. Vash demands Quark be brought back and an annoyed Q complies before leaving himself. Quark says that he’s become aware of the trinkets she’s brought back from the Gamma Quadrant and is wondering if she’s interested in joining up with him to auction them off. She persuades him to give her a good chunk of the profits but rubbing his lobes in what I assume if foreplay for Ferengis.

Quark leaves happy, and after another brief comment by Q, Bashir arrives to ask Vash out to dinner. Once he leaves, Vash tells Q to piss off again (poor girl; Picard only had to deal with this crap once a year on average, she’s had to for two years straight).

Bashir is waiting in the replimat for Vash when Q arrives, disguised as a Bajoran waiter (and may I say the earring does nothing for him). He tells Bashir that Vash is bad news, and before Bashir can really object, Q convinces the doctor that he needs sleep with the old contagious yawn gag.

Fortunately, O’Brien is nearby and recognizes Q. He goes to Ops to inform Sisko, who’s already familiar with Q because Starfleet briefed him on the Q years earlier. In Quark’s bar, Vash shows him the quartz item when Sisko arrives telling Quark to get lost. Vash asks him where Bashir is, but Sisko wants to know about Q. But Q saves him the trouble by appearing and not taking long to add Sisko to the list of people he annoys.

Sisko tells Q to go away, but the latter says that a dreary place like this station could use a presence like him, although he does admit to liking Sisko’s uniform, which he quickly replicates for himself. Sisko tells him to stop the power outages, but Q condescendingly tells him that he’s not responsible. Their argument leads to Sisko suggesting they go elsewhere. Q obliges by making everyone around them disappear. Sisko demands he return everyone, prompting Q to turn Quark’s bar into a boxing arena with him and Sisko in the ring, and Q sporting quite the ridiculous mustache.

Quark and Vash place bets on the contestants. Q hits Sisko a few times before Sisko knocks him to the ground with a couple of good hits.

We next see numerous people arrive on the station for Quark’s auction. Odo has his eye on them and is annoyed by another power outage. This one results in a hull breach that Dax says was caused by a graviton pulse. She suggests talking to Q about this, but Sisko is starting to think that Q is not the guilty party.

Quark is dragged into Odo’s office, where Odo says that he’s watching the auction Quark is planning. Specifically, he’s got his eye on the people who are doing the bidding. This leads to him revealing his annoyance at the tendency of people to buy items even though they can’t take those things with them when they die. But Quark is unswayed and even asks Odo if there are any items he might want.

Vash is heading for the auction when Q asks her to reconsider traveling with him. She tells him she can take care of herself, but he reminds her of an insect bite she once received during their travels. He shows her the illness and physical deterioration she would’ve have experienced had he not been there to lend a hand. Q asks her to reconsider her stance before healing her and departing.

Sisko notes in his log that DS9’s life support will fail within 14 hours if the outages continue. Dax suggests that they use a special gas which could potentially trace the outages to their source. Sisko agrees and tells his staff to begin evacuations if this plan fails.

Q pops up to gloat, taking the time to be condescending to Kira, so O’Brien tells him to piss off, too. After O’Brien says he knows him from the Enterprise, Q gets another funny line when he refers to O’Brien as one of the ship’s “little people”. He tells the angry crew that Vash and her current plans are the real threat, and then he vanishes.

Quark is preparing for the auction when an acquaintance threatens him if the merchandise he’s auctioning off isn’t legitimate. Quark is too excited by both the money coming his way and the hots he has for Vash to let that get to him, however. Just then, another power outage causes the station to begin moving toward the wormhole.

But Quark isn’t letting a silly thing like a power outage stop his auction, which he carries on in semi-darkness. He even dismisses Vash’s historical explanations of the items she has and simply tells the bidders what it’s worth.

As Dax and O’Brien put their plan into action, Q pops up at the auction and politely informs everyone that the station is hurtling toward its destruction. Quark tries to calm everyone down while Vash angrily goes to Q to ask him to stop what he’s doing to the station. But Q insists he’s not doing anything.

Soon, after power is restored again, the quartz item is on display and Q spices things up by bidding 1 million bars of latinum on it. Quark is so excited he’s practically crapping his pants, but that’s when Sisko, Kira, and Dax arrive, having traced the power outages to the quartz item itself. Over Quark’s objections, Sisko slaps his combadge on it and tells O’Brien to beam it into space. Once the item is off the station, it transforms into a glowing, sting ray-like creature that heads into the wormhole, leaving the station behind.

The episode ends with the station back in its original spot and Vash telling Quark she plans to go to Earth. He tries to lure her into going to retrieve some valuable ruins from another planet, but she declines. Q quietly pops up with a warning.

"An abysmal place, Earth. Oh, don’t get me wrong. A thousand years ago it had character: the Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition, Watergate. Now it’s just mind-numbingly dull."

One wonders what he would think of the current coronavirus era, with the White House run by a moron who steals speeches from fictional presidents.

The two end up admitting they’ll miss each other, and after Q departs, Vash uses the Ferengi ear seduction technique to ask Quark more about that planet he mentioned. A nearby Dax is bemused by this as Bashir arrives, having just woken up from Q’s yawning spell. She silently tells Bashir he lost his chance to get laid again and not to turn to her, which is probably for the best, as she’ll be walking down the aisle with Worf in a few years.

Like TNG’s first season, DS9’s had moments of repeating what came before that were balanced by more original elements which would get greater emphasis in the coming seasons. Case in point: the end of this episode is definitely reminiscent of “Encounter at Farpoint”. But it is fun to watch Q interact with a different set of characters, and the moment where Sisko hands Q’s ass to him rightly has become a classic. It also gave a sense of closure to Vash.

This would mark Q’s only appearance on Deep Space Nine, which is a shame, as it would have been interesting to see him again once Worf became a regular, and it would’ve been interesting to see Q interact with Odo.

Star Trek: The Next Generation- "True Q"

The latest installment of the Q saga.

Fans ended up waiting over a year after “Qpid” for the next installment of…

The Rise and Fall of Q

…as the character was conspicuously absent from TNG’s fifth season. There were reportedly plans for an appearance but storylines couldn’t be worked out. However, Q would certainly make up for his absence in the following season, with three appearances on not one but two Star Trek series.

The first of these was this episode from the first half of TNG’s sixth season, “True Q.”

The Enterprise arrives at a Starbase to get supplies for a planet having trouble with its atmosphere. They take aboard Amanda Rogers (Olivia d’Abo), who has just won an internship out of many potential candidates. She impresses Picard, Crusher, and Riker with the knowledge she already has about the ship’s layout. As Riker drops her off at her quarters, Rogers says that she wishes her three dogs were with her to enjoy the ship. Once Riker leaves, numerous puppies pop out of thin air. She frantically gathers them up and sweetly tells them that they have to go home, and they all soon vanish.

After the title sequence, Crusher is giving Rogers lessons on how to use various medical equipment. They bond as they talk about their families, with Crusher noting she’s a widow with a son at the Academy, while Rogers says she was adopted after her biological parents died.

Rogers is later helping out in the cargo bay. She impresses La Forge with her knowledge of what’s required for the relief mission they’re on. She also focuses on Riker and is able to save him from a falling container with an unseen move of her hand.

La Forge gives her a tour of Engineering, and as he and Data explain how the warp core works, a breach starts to take place. La Forge orders an evacuation and prepares to eject the core. But that turns out to be unnecessary because Rogers is able to contain the warp core breach, leaving La Forge and Data astonished.

Picard, Crusher, La Forge, and Troi discuss this in the observation lounge. Crusher says that Rogers is in her quarters and La Forge says that there was no reason why the core breach should have occurred when it did. That’s when Q materializes, saying that he caused the breach to confirm his suspicions that Rogers herself is a Q. He explains that her parents took the form of humans and had a child, to Q’s disgust. But after their deaths, the Q Continuum was unsure if Rogers inherited their powers.

Of late, however, her powers have begun to emerge, which is why the Continuum sent Q to check Rogers out. He cautions our heroes that, if unchecked, Rogers could end up using her powers to destroy herself or others. Crusher objects when Q states his intentions to take Rogers to the Continuum once he’s confirmed the extent of her powers. This prompts Q to whisk himself and Picard to the captain’s ready room so they can chat in private.

Q asks Picard to introduce him to Rogers, although Picard is skeptical of Q’s claim that he’s only being helpful. Nonetheless, Picard agrees, and after Q leaves, he goes out on the bridge and asks Data for info about the death of Rogers’s parents.

In Rogers’ quarters, Crusher fills her in and Q literally walks through the wall and begins looking at Rogers in a creepy, #MeToo sort of way. This understandably leads to Rogers telling Q to piss off, using her powers to throw him across the room.

As Q vents to Picard in the ready room (even with his powers, Q can get pissed), the captain suggests being less creepy with Rogers. At the same time, Rogers confides to Crusher about the uncertainty she’s feeling with these new revelations about herself, because she wants to be the same as everyone else. Rogers agrees to meet with Q again, while Crusher promises she won’t treat Rogers with kid gloves.

En route to see Rogers again, Q is stopped by a shadow on the wall, which is presumably one of the Continuum asking about his progress. Q says that he’s working on it, although he expresses his doubts that Rogers will have to die.

Q’s next visit with Rogers is less violent. She doesn’t even seem to mind his creepy tendencies as he explains how awesome it is to be a Q; no doubt because she now knows that she can kick his ass if he goes too far. When Rogers says that she wants to see her real parents, Q instructs her to focus. She soon gets a nice vision of them with her as a little girl.

Rogers meets with Crusher in the lab, where the doctor gives her an experiment to perform. The two ladies have a heart to heart about loved ones, with Rogers asking Crusher if she would bring her husband back if she was able. Crusher says she’s unsure, and once she’s gone, Q shows up and recommends Rogers use her powers to speed up the experiment.

On the bridge, Picard gets a message saying that problems have come up with their relief mission. As La Forge gets to work, Data tells Picard that Rogers’s parents were killed by a tornado at their Kansas home. Picard is suspicious, because in the 24th Century, there’s fancy tech that can dissipate tornadoes.

In the lab, Riker checks in with Rogers and Crusher, and Q notes with disgust that Rogers is drawn to him. The doctor is dismayed at the experimental results, because speeding things up has made it unable to take proper notes. This leads to an argument between her and Q, during which he briefly turns Crusher into a dog, although Rogers turns her back, and Crusher is none the wiser.

Rogers, with Q’s help, explores her powers a bit more. This involves a nice of the ship as they pop up in various locations, such as the warp core, and even outside the ship itself.

That night, she’s dining with Crusher and Troi. Riker comes by on a date of his own, but Rogers whisks him and herself away to a romantic setting with period clothing. Riker resists until Rogers uses her powers to give him the desire to make out with her. But she quickly realizes that the passion isn’t genuine and sends him back.

Q meets Picard in his ready room, where the captain confronts him about the tornado and asks if this was the Continuum’s way of executing Rogers’s parents. Q admits as much, and adds that he has to determine if Rogers herself is a Q or a hybrid of some sort. If so, she’ll have to die as well. He attempts to rationalize this by saying that beings with unlimited power can’t be permitted to roam the universe. Picard asks point blank if Rogers will die, and Q says that he doesn’t know yet.

Picard meets with Crusher and Troi, and they agree that Rogers should be told the truth. At the same time, Riker goes down to the planet to assist with the issues there.

After Picard explains the situation to Rogers, she demands that Q appear, and he does. Picard says that Q is acting similar to the way he did when he judged him in “Encounter at Farpoint”, and reiterates his stance that, despite their vast powers, the Q are still full of shit compared to humanity, and basically laughs at how they’re pondering killing someone who has both humanity and powers of the Q.

This leads to another great Q line.

"Jean-Luc, sometimes I think the only reason I come here is to listen to these wonderful speeches of yours."

He adds that Picard’s conviction isn’t necessary, because the Continuum doesn’t plan to execute Rogers. Instead, they’ll give her a choice. She can join the Continuum, or continue with her human life as long as she doesn’t use her powers. Rogers says that she can refrain from doing so, but Q says that it’s easier said than done.

That’s when the ship is hailed by Riker, who says that the state of the reactor on the planet is worse than they thought. Q insists he’s not doing anything and vanishes. Things are looking grim until the reactor begins fixing itself and the atmosphere of the planet clears up.

Q pops up on the bridge to gloat, and Rogers confesses that she couldn’t just stand by as disaster unfolded. She brings Crusher to the bridge and says that she can’t deny that she’s a Q and agrees to join the Continuum. But she insists on explaining things to the parents who raised her before doing so. She and Crusher hug each other farewell, with the promise that they’ll see each other again, and then Rogers and Q depart.

This episode certainly has good intentions. While I didn’t care for Crusher briefly being a dog or Rogers attempting to romance Riker, the Crusher/Rogers scenes are quite sweet and d’Abo makes it easy for us to side with Rogers. It’s actually a bit reminiscent of the original Star Trek episode “Charlie X”, in that it involves the crew dealing with a young person with immense power. But it’s different enough that it can’t be called a rip-off.

Where the episode falters is the ending, which seems a bit rushed. While Rogers saves a planet full of people, there’s never a sense of urgency to the proceedings like there was in “Q Who”. Afterward, she and Q take off, and that’s that. But it still deserves credit for trying something different; Q himself is actually more of a supporting player here than in his previous outings.

Star Trek: The Next Generation- "Qpid"

This episode is another lighthearted tale.

“Qpid”, the latest installment of…

The Rise and Fall of Q

…has the same lighthearted tone as the previous entry, “Deja Q."

The episode begins with the Enterprise arriving at Tagus III, where Picard is set to give a lecture to a group of renowned Starfleet archaeologists. As he’s the archaeology aficionado, Picard is up in his ready room to the wee hours perfecting his speech, as well as wishing that the ruins on the planet weren’t closed off to the public. Troi comes in and politely tells him that his speech is fine and he should get his ass to bed.

Picard concedes, but upon arriving in his quarters, recognizes something on his table. That something is a horga’hn, which is basically a sex toy he bought for Riker when he went to pleasure planet Risa the previous season in “Captain’s Holiday”. Picard is also happily surprised to find that Vash (Jennifer Hetrick), a fellow archaeology buff whom he romanced in that episode, is in his quarters as well. I think it’s safe to say that Picard won’t be getting any sleep tonight.

We jump to the next morning as the two are having tea. Vash says that she’s part of the archaeology team that Picard is set to talk to, although her tone suggests that there’s something more to her appearance on Tagus III. But he basically freezes up when Dr. Crusher arrives for their morning tea. He stammers as he introduces the ladies to each other, with Vash noting that Picard told her about Crusher, but not vice versa. But this doesn’t stop the doctor from offering to give Vash a tour of the ship.

One stop on this tour is Ten Forward, where Vash meets Riker, and we get the awesome news that Picard does a great Riker impression. Crusher excuses herself when she’s needed in Sick Bay, so Riker continues Vash’s tour, which ends up on the bridge. After meeting La Forge, Data, and Worf, she briefly gets cozy in Picard’s chair, just as the captain comes out of his ready room.

Soon, at the reception in Ten Forward, Troi confirms that Picard told none of the other members of the crew about Vash. Pissed off about this, she confronts Picard, who says that it would be inappropriate, but Vash just thinks he’s embarrassed by her presence. This little tiff leads to him going back to his ready room. Alas, another headache is inside waiting for him: Q, who’s sitting at his desk and asks for a big hug.

After he gives the chair back to Picard, Q says that he’s back because he feels that he must somehow repay Picard for giving him a hand in getting his powers back in “Deja Q”. Picard just says Q leaving would suffice, but Q insists more is needed. He suggests helping Picard with his upcoming speech, which he tells Picard is crap. To that end, he offers to give Picard a look at the planet’s ruins, but Picard says that his speech will do the trick and tells Q to get lost. After Q vanishes, Picard alerts Riker, who in turn alerts the crew.

Later, Picard attempts to make amends with Vash, but those efforts are thwarted when he finds a map of the ruins as well as digging equipment. This lets him know that she plans to continue her pillaging ways, and once more they part, pissed off with each other.

Q happens to catch this argument and pops up in Picard’s quarters when the captain is going to bed. He says that Vash has brought out vulnerability in Picard that Q has been unable to, even saying that he would’ve appeared as female himself had he known. After this, and bringing up his need to repay Picard, the captain once again tells Q to piss off, which he happily does.

As Picard gives his speech the next day, the other regulars seated in the back row are slowly acquiring medieval attire that pops up out of nowhere. The rest of the audience is startled, as is Picard, whose own attire changes before he and the other regulars suddenly find themselves on Earth. They deduce that this is roughly the 12th Century and they’re attired like Robin Hood and his Merry Men, leading to Worf’s classic line, “Sir, I protest! I am not a merry man!”

That’s when Sir Guy of Gisbourne (Clive Revill) appears. Worf engages in a brief sword fight with him before reinforcements prompt Picard and company to take refuge in the forest.

Not long afterward, Q shows up on a nice looking white horse and claims he’s the Sheriff of Nottingham. He tells them that they’ll be returned to the ship by noon tomorrow. The catch is that Maid Marian is set to be beheaded at that time. Picard quickly realizes that Vash is playing Marian. Before vanishing, Q says that while he created this illusion, he’s as uncertain about how things will play out as the crew is.

At Nottingham Castle, Vash is understandably confused. But after her initial hostility, she starts to become more friendly to Sir Guy after hearing that she’s set to go on the chopping block.

In the forest, Worf emulates a classic John Belushi move by gently taking the mandolin La Forge is playing, and smashing it against a nearby tree. Troi likewise is trying to get the hang of using a bow and arrow, as one hits Data, although he’s fine. Picard decides to go rescue Vash on his own over Riker’s objections.

Q is astonished at how Vash is able to sweet talk Sir Guy into sparing her life. After she returns to her quarters, she sees Picard enter via the window. He informs her that Q created this fantasy, but for some reason, Vash decides to get pissed when she learns that Picard came to the castle all by himself. Naturally, this hinders their escape, giving Sir Guy a chance to bust them. Vash even turns Picard’s sword against him, pleasing Sir Guy more. This further astonishes and angers Q, who goes to Vash to introduce himself and give her his compliments.

But Q also finds a letter Vash was planning to send to Riker, and orders the guards to plan for her execution as well. And to think, this wouldn’t have happened if Vash had just kept her mouth shut as Picard was rescuing her. Heck, even Picard calls her out on this as they bitch to each other on their way to the chopping block. Despite this, Picard tells Q to let Vash go.

Fortunately, the other crew members are nearby dressed as monks. Data pulls some doohickey from his arm and tosses it into a nearby torch, causing a brief explosion. This gives our heroes enough time to begin the fight, as Q watches while stuffing his face with the buffet that I suppose is standard for executions. Of course, this includes the infamous bit where Crusher and Troi take out bad guys with pottery, while all the men get to use swords. Happily, future episodes would make this up to both ladies.

As Vash is dragged back to her quarters, Picard and Sir Guy fight, with Picard winning. After reuniting with Vash, Picard tells Q to end the whole thing. He does so, although he gloats that love has brought out the worst in Picard. Vash, however, states the opposite is true, which earns her more praise from Q.

Everyone is back on the Enterprise except Vash. But Picard isn’t saddened for long, as she shows up when he goes to his ready room. They make up before Q appears, with Vash saying that he’s her new partner and they plan to explore the universe together. Picard is initially dismissive, until Vash reminds him that she and Q pretty much deserve each other.

After assuring Picard that Vash will be safe, Q departs so they can kiss each other goodbye.

When all’s said and done, “Qpid” is more or less an advertisement for Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, which was released a few months later. Still, like “Deja Q”, the episode is enjoyable, even though the storyline isn’t as sharp. This is probably because we know that things will turn out alright because the entire scenario is engineered by Q. Vash rubs some fans the wrong way, but it’s understandable that she and Q ended up viewing each other as kindred spirits. But I will say that this episode would certainly rank higher in my book if we had heard Picard’s Riker impression.