Saturday, December 18, 2021

13 Fanboy (2021)

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD! Here now is a review of 13 Fanboy, the new film by Deborah Voorhees, which she previously discussed in my last interview. As with The Blair Witch Project, many of the characters in this film have the same name as their characters. This is why the film begins with Dee Wallace discussing fan mail she’s gotten over the years from someone who turns out to be obsessive. She goes on to say that this fan/stalker has also alarmed her BFF Deborah Voorhees, who has gotten similar unnerving correspondence from the same person.
We get a flashback to 13 years earlier at Deborah’s Voorhees Ranch. Deborah is tending her horses before warmly greeting her visiting granddaughter Kelsie (Poppy Gillett). As Deborah and Kelsie go hiking in the nearby woods, we see someone secretly taking pics of them. Deborah is alarmed when she sees those pics pop up instantly on her phone. She quickly collects Kelsie and they head out. We see the stalker briefly in Deborah’s barn, and Deborah’s assistant is quickly killed. In the house, Deborah finds a pic of herself (with her eyes crossed out, referring to her death scene in Friday the 13th Part V), Kelsie, and Dee on her computer. Instructing Kelsie to stick with her, Deborah takes her to a safe place to hide outside before she darts off with a pistol in hand to confront the stalker, who keeps bellowing out “Tina,” her Friday character name.
Sadly, the killer, wearing a mask with a skull on it, manages to stab Deborah repeatedly. She dies as Kelsie cries out. In the present, the adult Kelsie (Hayley Greenbauer) is running a self-defense class in Los Angeles. She gets a call from Dee saying she loves her, while avoiding the creepy gaze from the janitor. We next see Kelsie showering and begin to think that the killer is about to barge in on her. But, no, it turns out to be her boyfriend Chris (Drew Leighty), whom Kelsie quickly smacks out of brief fright before they begin making out. Alas, the janitor is spying on them. At their place, Kelsie and Chris are going over lines for an upcoming show. But they don’t realize that their place is bugged with someone watching them chat and have sex. The next scene is of a horror convention taking place in Pasadena, where we see Dee as well as other Friday the 13th alumni. Kelsie calls her friend Lar Park Lincoln (Tina in Part VII) to ask when she’ll be at the gathering. Lar says that she’s not sure since her son has had an accident. After the call, Lar notices that her photo album is missing. Another person in attendance is a producer named Mike Merryman (Corey Feldman, Tommy in Parts IV and V). As he attempts to flirt with a hot actress, Kelise and Dee become nervous enough to call security when they see someone with what appears to be a machete. But they assure the ladies that the guy is ok.
At one of the place’s eateries, Dee and Kelsie are joined by C.J. Graham (Jason in Part VI) and Judie Aronson (Samantha in Part IV). After a selfie, Judie shows them a news report on her phone saying that Lar has been murdered, with footage of her saying that she’s trapped somewhere. There is also a brief comment from the director of the project Lar was set to work on, saying that this may be connected to Deborah’s death. This leads to Judie speculating that this may just be publicity for that upcoming film. But Kelsie bolts to her hotel room, asking to be left alone. But she gets freaked out when she sees a pic of Deborah in her room, followed by someone knocking on her door. Kelsie calls security, but they say there’s nobody there, followed by the killer’s voice. Kelsie opens to door only to, yep, punch Chris again. Back in L.A., Kelsie goes to Lar’s home and sees a shrine to her at the front porch. Kelsie goes inside, only to be led out by cops, who tell her that, since there’s no body, this is all just a stunt. Kelise says that Lar would never leave her cat unattended, but the cops are adamant. Lar awakens in her prison, where she sees a wall of pics of Friday actresses. The killer walks in and quickly subdues her. He taunts her before leaving. Soon, Lar is quietly asking the killer to release her as he’s on the other side of the door. He replies that his dad used to lock him in the basement when he was bad. The killer adds that all he had for company was his VHS’s of scary films, hence his obsession with actresses linked to such series. Lar said she never got any of the letters he wrote but he keeps her locked up. Judie calls Dee to tell her that she’s getting creepy photos herself now. The killer’s next target is Tracie Savage (Debbie in Part III), who teaches classes on covering news stories. Not surprisingly, some of her students ask about her Friday involvement, but Tracie brushes it off. She gives them an assignment before dismissing them. Alone, Tracie starts getting creepy emails. She blocks the sender, but them gets creepy phone texts. On top of that, she finds blood inside her desk, along with the blue bikini she wore in her Friday appearance. Tracie calls security but the guard is dead. The killer’s taunts lead her to deduce that the blood is her husband’s, and her fear is confirmed when he doesn’t answer her calls. The killer takes care of the custodian and uses his keys to open to door to Tracie’s classroom, while she calls the cops. Tracie pins the killer’s hand to the desk with scissors, which, of course, pisses him off. The next scene is of the killer dragging Tracie’s body away. He is next seen watching Kane Hodder (Jason in several Friday pics) chatting with Jennifer Banko (who played Lar’s character as a little girl in Part VII). They are talking about a play they want to put together as well as the killer.
Naturally, Jennifer gets a creepy pic sent to her after Kane is gone. She calls Kane and tells them that the cops can’t trace the killer because he uses burner phones. But Kane tells her he’s nearby and will be at her place ASAP. The killer enters Jennifer’s home and sees her on her bed. Kane shows up and they duke it out. But even Jason proves no match for this guy as Kane gets stabbed before Jennifer gets a rope around her neck with the killer hanging her. Kane helps her get the noose off her neck but is weakened by his wounds. The police arrive as Kane quietly dies. I guess the killer decided to take a coffee break. At Dee’s place, her husband Ron Sloan (Junior in Part V) is kept in the dark when Dee freaks out after noticing pieces of her own hair in her bathroom sink after she wakes up. That’s when she gets a text from Tracie about doing lunch soon. Judie calls Dee as well to tell her that Vincente Disanti, the producer of Lar’s next film, whom Judie is sleeping with, wants to see her for it now. While filming in New Mexico, Mike flirts with Kelsie by saying how he can’t wait for her to film an upcoming shower scene. Mike is also disheartened when Chris shows up. Kelsie also sees another pic of Deborah in the makeup room, while Mike’s reputation for hitting on crewmembers includes both men and women. But the pic is occupying Kelsie’s thoughts. Vincente visits the set to chat with Kelsie. But she quickly gets pissed at how he’s exploiting the deaths of both her grandma and Lar. She goes film her scheduled fight scene, only to have the lady she’s fighting opposite of die as the knife Kelsie is handed to use turns out not to be fake. The killer sees her freaking out to Chris from his hideout. Dee flashbacks to when Deborah asked her to look after Kelsie if the worst occurred and subsequently comforting young Kelsie. Ron tries to tell his wife that she needs to move on, but Dee berates herself for not listening to Deborah sooner. But she smiles when her grandkids are dropped off to spend the weekend with them. As Ron takes care of the kids, the killer takes pics of everything while hidden again. That night, Dee tells Ron that there’s someone outside. Ron puts the kids to bed before trying to calm his wife down. At her place, Kelsie wakes up and goes online to learn that another Friday actress has been murdered. More texts to the killer prompt her to try to get the cops to go to Dee’s house. Dee calms her granddaughter down when she wakes up from a bad dream. Kelsie calls and tells Dee to lock her place up and that she’s coming her way. The power goes out and Dee quickly gathers her grandkids, putting them in a spot behind one of her bookshelves. Ron goes nuts as Dee arms herself with a gun, even pointing it at him when he tries to get the grandkids out. Pissed off, Ron gets a drink while Dee keeps her guard up. She fires off a shot that harmlessly goes nowhere as Kelsie arrives.
Dee and Ron get pissed at each other when their son comes back to get their kids. The next morning, a package arrives for Dee, which turns out to be roses and a request of an autograph. But she calls the cops when she finds pics the killer has taken. The cops suggest she keep the doors locked and they’ll send a car to drive by. Chris comes by and chats with Dee and Kelsie over wine. Dee reluctantly agrees to sign Chris’s mask, which looks like the killer’s. Later that night, Dee sees footage of Deborah’s murder, and finds Ron dead in her bed. She and Kelsie are horrified, but upon viewing the footage with the cops, see Dee nearby, even though she wasn’t present when Deborah was killed. Kelsie is stunned as the distraught Dee is taken away. After giving it more thought, Kelsie looks at the footage and determines that Dee’s face was digitally inserted in an attempt to frame her. Going to the cops, she also sees what looks like someone’s forearm in the footage. She also finds Mike, who the cops caught near Dee’s house. Thankfully, this convinces the cops to release Dee. Judie joins Dee and Kelsie as a service for Ron is taking place at Dee’s house. Dee invites Judie to stay with her. Kelsie is convinced Mike will be charged, while Dee asks everyone to gather Ron’s things and put them in the attic. She also gets another text from Tracie about joining her for dinner. The next night, the cops tell them that Mike was released because there was no evidence linking him but cops will be stopping by. In the woods, the killer quickly dispatches one cop before taunting Dee and Kelsie, telling them Tracie is dead. Another cop is killed before Kelsie takes on the killer herself. Kelsie is knocked out and is almost killed before another C.J. saves her. It’s at this point that, the killer unmasks, revealing himself to be Vincente. They duke it out with C.J. biting Vincente’s ear at one point, but Vincente ends up stabbing hi before Judie shoots him dead. A week later, with C.J. recovering, Dee and Kelsie bid each other farewell. But it turns there’s another wrinkle as Judie drugs Dee with wine while showing her a footage of Tracie’s murder. While the show is going on, Judie gets pissed at Dee because she and Kelsie get more people at conventions that she does (damn, and we thought Kevin Sorbo was pissed at Lucy Lawless for the same reason!). But Kelsie puts two and two together as she’s driving away, deducing that it was Judie’s forearm in that footage. As Judie goes over the ways she can now kill Dee, Kelsie arrives and begins stabbing the shit out of Judie (who, I guess, got rid of Vincente because he was lousy in bed). Deborah clearly wrote and directed this film out of love for the franchise and its fans. The cast is a big reason it’s worth watching. While Dee didn’t appear in any of the Friday films, she was a great choice for one of the film’s central characters and her scenes with Hayley Greenbauer are enjoyable. I was surprised that Feldman didn’t play himself as well, given his memorable appearances in the franchise, but he’s appropriately annoying. Also, unlike the Scream films, this film is a homage (complete with police who aren’t there when you need them) that never overdoes the humor. I’d say this is a better slasher pic than the recent Halloween Kills.

Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown (1975)

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